living an unconventional life, one cocktail at a time

A story for future prom dates.

Potty training.

Two words that strike fear in the hearts of parents everywhere. Two words I’ve been ignoring and doing my best to pretend don’t exist.

Cooper’s been wearing size six diapers for months now. Probably close to a year, actually. I remember when I first bought size sixes at the store and realized they were the largest size available. I had a mild panic attack.

“What happens if he outgrows size sixes before he’s potty trained? What do I do?” I remember asking the teachers at his daycare. “Surely there are other big kids out there and other parents with this problem!”

“Relax,” they told me. Once kids outgrow the diapers, they can move on to pullups.

Big sigh of relief. I can put off potty training a little longer.

Except now he’s in a new daycare. And he’s still growing (gee, funny how kids do that!). And the size six diapers are getting snug, a fact pointed out gently to us at parent-teacher conferences (more on that later- parent-teacher conferences for a one-year-old?!).

And, the biggest and of all: NEW DAYCARE DOESN’T ALLOW PULLUPS.

My child isn’t even two yet and we already have to start potty training.

So tonight, after his bath, I asked if he wanted to sit on the potty. To my surprise, he excitedly ran to the toilet and sat on it for a few minutes. Then he promptly jumped down, ran to his bedroom closet and peed all over the floor.

Reminds me of something I read recently about how toddlers are like tiny drunk adults.

4 Responses to “A story for future prom dates.”

  1. Bailey says:

    Oh, that’s good.

  2. Jenn says:

    Now see, that made me laugh. I love it. (And I’m so glad I’m through the potty training stage!)

  3. Bailey says:

    Also, #1 (on the Buzz Feed list) is me every night, even completely sober.

  4. Meryl says:

    From my wise (almost mom to a 3 year old) perspective, I can tell you–bribery is key. Buy stock in M&M’s.

    Of course, you have to be ready to up the ante. We’ve got peeing down, but I think I’m going to have to start offering Matchbox cars for poops.

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