living an unconventional life, one cocktail at a time

Parking Violation.

I spotted this on my mother’s (crowded) refrigerator door this week, among the sweet pictures of grandkids and souvenir travel magnets.

parking violation

parking violation

Here’s what it says:

This is not a ticket, but if it were within my power, you would receive two. Because of your Bull Headed, inconsiderate, feeble attempt at parking, you have taken enough room for a 20 mule team, 2 elephants, 1 goat and a safari of pygmies from the African interior. The reason for giving you this is so that in the future you may think of someone else, other than yourself. Besides I don’t like domineering, egotistical or simple minded drivers and you probably fit into one of these categories.

I sign off wishing you an early transmission failure (on the expressway at about 4:30 p.m.). Also may the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits.

I forgot to ask her about it, but I’m hopeful that it’s not a “ticket” that someone left on her car. However, I would love to have a pack of these to carry around in my car and disperse as needed to the bad parkers of the world.

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